On “Staying away from people who bring you down”

Here is an advice to a beloved family member who had been told to “Stay away from people who bring you down”: (edited, expanded) 

There are reasons WHY people bring you down. You should ALWAYS examine the WHY. If people “bring you down” are based on conflict or competition on social status in whatever social relationships (school, work, clubs and etc…), particularly envy or anger or arrogance, then that principle is correct.

Second is opportunity cost. When you give attention to one person, you sacrifice your attention to the others. Example if you give attention to your best friend this minute, then you don’t give attention to your other friends or your family. As mortals, we operate on time, space and expectational constraints. We cannot give attention to everyone. And we can never please everyone.

This means that in generality, you should pick on the right people who will give you not only livelihood, but your life: the inspiration, counsel and companionship. This by no means is one person but a mixture of relationships which you need to constantly balance.

Lastly, avoid staying away from people who tell you the truth if told out of sincerity, even if it hurts.

In J.K Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone; The truth." Dumbledore sighed. "It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution.”

They may likely be the people who really care for you.